The Rising of the Prophetic Scribe Part I

"The most important thing for a writer is not their ability to write, but their ability to see."
I said that to my best friend two weeks ago after we had breakfast at a diner in North Hollywood. We usually have breakfast there, and we always take the time to catch up and talk about different things. I usually say something pretty cool and we joke about putting it on Facebook. That day was like no other. I mean, I just said it...it sounded like it made sense. It wasn't until earlier this week that I began to question it. What the heck does that mean? Ability to see? Now I can go on some tangent about how to write reality or believable stories but I am almost certain that I don't have enough "real life" to back it up yet. Besides, that's not the point. My ability to "see" as a writer has nothing to do with my physical sight, or so I found out today at church.

See, it has been spoken over my life that I am to be called into the office of a prophet. Scary huh? I think so. Last time I checked, the prophets in the bible led pretty unusual lives and well, to be honest, I'd prefer not to be the one who eats out of the mouth of birds and I'd much rather keep the clothes I have on (thank you very much). But I have come to realize that for some weird reason, God likes to use me in prophetic ways (whether I'd like it or not) and continues to draw me toward prophetic houses (whether I'd like to go or not) so if this is true then I will digress and submit to the dealings of the Father.

But there is one thing, that no matter where I go, or what I do...or how much I try to run from it or deny it or try not to believe what people say, the truth is....I am a writer. Period. I can't seem to help it actually, writing is my first language. I used to think it was kinda lame or nerdy but people seem to like it so I figure I'd ride this coat tail for as long as I can (just kidding...not really). It was in this realization that God gave me a new word...Scribe. (can we say WORD STUDY! coming soon...)

I've been hearing the term "prophetic scribe" for years now and just kind of sat on it. I didn't really know what it all meant to be honest. Then today at church, Mark Stibbe, from London, came and got "all up in my Kool-Aid" Here I am thinking that I'm going to be rocked by his message on the father's heart and God completely sucker punches me with a message entitled, "Write on."  In the message, Mark talks about the rise of prophetic writers and how that is going to impact the Kingdom (he goes into way more detail but you just have to hear it). I was speechless! I couldn't believe that this man was preaching on the very thing I was going through! And not only that, but the very impact I wanted to make and how God wanted me to do it! I gotta tell you, something clicked in that service. I don't know exactly what yet, but it's big....I know it.

So....I say all that to say that this is officially the beginning of the rising of the Prophetic Scribe...whatever that means and whatever that takes....I'M GAME...

To be continued...

The Process of Believing

How do we begin to believe in something? I find myself asking that question far too often nowadays. See, the thing is: I don't believe in myself. I don't believe I am what people say that I am or who God says that I am for that matter. I believe that when people give me a complement or says something about my character, that they are truly genuine. I believe that they believe what they are saying. I just don't believe it.
I have writer's block...again. I'm trying to write this article (which shouldn't be that hard) and I find myself having the hardest time. It's not that I'm not excited about what I'm writing about, or that I don't have enough information about the topic, I just don't believe that what I produce is good enough.
I found that I have to have a really serious talk with myself....and God. Why is it that I don't believe? How can I say that I believe in God and all that He says and does, but I don't believe in who He created me to be? How is it that I see so much in other people and have such a strong desire for them to be all that they can be, but I don't believe that I can have that same accomplishment?
The Bible says that the two greatest commandments are to "love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. And to love your neighbor as YOURSELF." How can I feel love for my neighbor but not for myself? How can I say I actually have received God's love when I can't love myself?
I need to start believing again. I need to get to that place where I believe that I can do everything that God has called me to do. No more pretending. No more "fake it to you make it." I want to actually know that I know that I know, you know?
So...what is the process of believing? How do we begin to believe in something? Is it the fact that we've known it for so long that we just take it as truth? Or do we need to see it with our own eyes? Is there some kind of supernatural encounter that sparks our belief or is it like a seed that is sown and grows over time? How did I start believing in God? Cause I feel like He has always been, even though I didn't always believe. What causes me to believe in someone else, to see beyond the faults at what is beneath the surface? And how far do I have to dig to find that for myself? I'm not entirely sure. I'm not entirely sure of anything anymore. I could always stand in front of the mirror and recite the "I am loved, and beautiful and so on" bit, but will that make me believe it?

P.S. I'm getting tired of ranting on this blog about nothing. But it seems to be the only way I can write anything. Sigh...I need some breakthrough.