End of the Year Reflections Part I: Mirror in my Room

In the next few days I hope to post some poems that reflect some of the thoughts I encounter as it relates to Reflections of the Year. The first is below. Enjoy! And remember to leave comments! 

Mirror in my Room

There is an old mirror in my room

It is dusty

And cracked

Once a year I force myself to stand in front of this mirror

to run my fingers through the stubborn dirt caked upon its surface

to feel the sharpness of the jagged edges against my skin

the pain as the skin gives in under the pressure

releasing streaks of red

Once a year I present my most vulnerable self

I stare at my own broken, filthy reflection

And as the tears stream down my face

I repeat these words:

You are beautiful. 

It never matters if the tears are of joy or pain

Or both

The reflection is always the same

There is an old mirror in my room

It is dusty

and cracked

and it only reflects beauty.

I Wish

I wish I was better than I am.
I wish I listened more.
I wish I was less fearful of the woman I can become
and less comfortable with the ways in which I have already settled.

I wish I was less hesitant in saying how I feel
and more careful in my judgements.
I wish I laughed more
     and cried more too
I wish I wasn't so numb.

I wish I could do all of the things I set out to do.
I wish I didn't make such a long list.
I wish that this time will be different,
I wish I could see how all the other times were too.

I wish I was better at hoping for the best than preparing for the worst.
I wish I had a better understanding of why I still had faith.
I wish I understood why wishes were worth wishing in the first place.

I wish you could see me
     truly see me.
I wish I could see you too.