I Wish

I wish I was better than I am.
I wish I listened more.
I wish I was less fearful of the woman I can become
and less comfortable with the ways in which I have already settled.

I wish I was less hesitant in saying how I feel
and more careful in my judgements.
I wish I laughed more
     and cried more too
I wish I wasn't so numb.

I wish I could do all of the things I set out to do.
I wish I didn't make such a long list.
I wish that this time will be different,
I wish I could see how all the other times were too.

I wish I was better at hoping for the best than preparing for the worst.
I wish I had a better understanding of why I still had faith.
I wish I understood why wishes were worth wishing in the first place.

I wish you could see me
     truly see me.
I wish I could see you too.