University: Unity within Diversity

Today in Chapel I got a chance to be a part of a gospel choir. I had a blast doing it (I hadn't been in a choir in years!). But I was more excited to see the reaction of the people more than anything else. This intrigued me for a few reasons. I'll admit, I'm a people watcher and enjoy watching people's reactions to things, but that isn't the only reason I was interested in the reaction of the people. In my five weeks here, I have found that there is a desire for more diversity which (to my observation of the responses of people around me) has yet to be fulfilled. I found this interesting since there seem to be so many people from different places that attend this school. The fact that I get a chance to study with people from all over the world was one of the things that attracted me to Fuller and yet it seems that we are faced with the same challenges that we would find outside the church. Now, before I go any further let me say this: I am not saying in any way that Fuller Theological Seminary is racist. In my experience here thus far; THIS IS NOT THE CASE. I personally have felt so welcome by everyone here (from students, professors and staff) and it is this since of community that has been the encouragement for me to keep going. It is my goal to share my observations and desires to see more of this sense of community expressed in the richness of the different cultures represented.

I mentioned in an earlier blog about Apostle Ellis Smith from Detroit, MI giving a word at our church where he shared with us what he calls "university" that is; unity within diversity. What I gathered from this message is that our churches shouldn't be considered places where we go to worship with people "like us" (by this I mean the same social, cultural and economic background as ourselves) but quite the contary: our churches and places of worship should be the very place where people from all different walks of life come together to worship the true and living God. After all, shouldn't God's power and love transend all of the factors that we have determined to be factors of separation and segregation? It was this very love that Jesus walked in when He was seen sitting with Tax collectors, healing gentiles, and loving the "unlovable" and if we are called to be followers of Christ, we are obligated to walk in that same transcending love.

This is why I was so intrigued to see the reaction of those at chapel the day of the gospel choir. I was excited to share the richness of my culture with others, and even more excited to see the unity within the expression of diversity. It is my goal and desire to see that expressed through the Latino and Asian communities as well. I believe that there needs to be a greater sense of "university" on the Fuller campus. I am not saying that we are not unified under Christ, but I would like to see a greater expression of diversity within that unity. I recently went to a meeting for a group on campus for students of African decent and during that meeting they asked for suggestions of things that we would like to see the group accomplish. My main suggestion is for us to not just be a group that "helps students of African decent feel welcome" but to give the Fuller community an opportunity to enjoy the richness of experiencing God through the African culture. There are so many cultures represented on our campus and I for one would love to be apart of those expressions. There is so much to learn from those of African descent, or Latino decent or Koren or Asian decent. There is a richness and a history that I would love to experience. Our goals as ethnic groups should not only be to gather those who "look like us" together simply for the sake of recognition and comfort. We have an obligation to share our culture with others, for our voices have been shaped by the lives of those who have come before us and we would do them a disservice if we simply conform to religious norms for the sake of "unity." This is also why I would like to see more culture representation in our professors, textbooks, student groups, newspapers, etc. I am by no means saying that this isn't happening, but if you feel that we have reached the pinnacle of diversity within the Fuller campus, then please respond to this blog with your observations and I will stand corrected.

I would like to quote Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr in his sermon "Remaining awake through a great revolution:"

All I'm saying is simply this: that all mankind is tied together; all life is interrelated, and we are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. For some strange reason I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be - this is the interrelated structure of reality.

I believe that despite our difference, we all thrive on our interdependence to one another. In an interdependent relationship, all participants are emotionally, economically, ecologically and/or morally self-reliant while at the same time responsible to each other.*  In this sense, each culture is in and of itself significant but as the body of Christ we are also responsible for one another (in love and accountability). I believe that there is a deeper level of understanding of God's love that I can experience through learning about my brothers and sisters in Christ who's lives are different than mine. I simply cannot obtain this understanding without the willingness to see God in all of His expression. How can we claim to have a grasp of the revelation of God and negate the very people who He created in His image because they are not like us? If that is my thinking then I most surely need to be retaught.

OK, I'm ranting.... (smile)

I would like to thank Gillian Grannum for putting this gospel choir together and allowing the Fuller community the opportunity to experience God in a different way, and I encourage others to do the same. There is so much more out there that we have yet to discover; let us no longer allow our love to be hindered by our unwillingness to engage in the richness of the diversity that God has bestowed upon us. Instead, let us show the world God's love by embrassing our differences and allowing that love to transend them; unitifing us as one Body in Christ.

Let the greater Body and the world see us the way we are to be called:

Fuller Theological Seminary....a University.

Unqualified Participant

I'm about to start the 5th week of school and I haven't said a word in at least two of my classes.
Is this normal?
Not for me, typically. But lately I find that I have reverted back to that very shy little girl in middle school. I sit in my classroom and don't say a word. I don't know, I guess I just feel unqualified to partake in the conversation. I mean, I don't know any of the stuff the teachers or other students are talking about. I'm still trying to follow the conversation. But if that's the case, then why is it that when another student answers a question or if the teacher gives the answer, its always the exact same thing I was thinking. And even if it wasn't, there's nothing wrong with sharing my point of view...right?

Then why is it that I feel so unqualified? For some reason, my confidence was sucked out of me the first week of school and has yet to return. I never realized just how afraid I was of being wrong. Didn't notice just how hard on myself I am to "get it right." I have to come to terms with the fact that my time here isn't just about getting a high enough GPA for my PhD program. I have to realize that getting it wrong is apart of the process, and not being afraid to ask those questions, or make those observations, or to take a shot in the dark about a topic is OK. That I'm not being judged with fire and brimstone when I raise my hand. That maybe my voice and perspective needs to be heard and that by keeping silent, I'm actually doing my classmates and teachers a disservice in the conversation. 

Lord, I thank You for placing me here and giving me the opportunity to embark on such a journey. Forgive me for not believing in what You have placed in me. I'll admit; it's hard, and I don't feel qualified to be here. But I also know that you placed me here for a reason and that means that there is a place for me at this table of conversation. Forgive me for not believing it. Help my unbelief. There is nothing I want more than to be able to express your truths in a way that people's lives are changed. Help me to get to that place, and to realize just how far I've come...

Divided by Homosexuality

I just came back from a panel discussion entitled, "Divided by Homosexuality" where we engaged in dialogue about homosexuality in the context of ministry. I really didn't think to write a blog about this but as we were talking on the way home my friend said, "I can't wait to read your blog. I know you're gonna write a blog about this." And here we are...

Sigh...where to begin....

I think I left the conversation feeling very torn. For several reasons. First let me say that I thought it was a great discussion; it was well organized, started on time, no one got hurt so I'd say it was a pretty good night. But I feel a bit underrepresented in the discussion. This is where I have a hard time trying to figure out what I want to say (no one ever said honest conversation was easy that's for sure). So I guess I will just start out with being honest:

I feel that homosexuality is a sin.
I also feel that as a Christian, I am called to love people with the love of God, regardless of where they may be in life, and I am still trying to figure out how to do that. How do I, as a leader in my church, figure out how to really walk with people and love people yet still be real to my convictions?  I say I felt underrepresented because I don't know if that question was addressed really. I don't know, maybe I missed it, but I felt that the perspective was overwhelmingly inclusive.

There was a few points in the discussion that really stood out to me:

There was an Indian woman (from India) who made an interesting and relevant comment that wasn't addressed at all. This is what she said (from what I can remember):

I'm a former Hindu who is now a Christian and in the Indian Christian community, American Christianity is the standard. No one buys a book from an Indian author but if a book is written in American (like Purpose Driven Life) they are reading it the next morning. I fear that the people in India will see what's going on over here with the rise of homosexual bishops and this "acceptance" of homosexuality in leadership and do the same thing.

This raised several questions for me. I have a sense of how influential American culture is to the rest of the world but had no clue how much it transcended in our religious culture. Is this just the case in India? Or do other church communities in other countries model their church after us?  If this is the case then I am also afraid. But beyond that I am sad. I am sad because people of India feel that the "American God" is superior to the "Indian God." I think that mindset strips the people of being able to experience God in their culture. Yes, God has a purpose for His entire church body; but what God wants to do in India isn't exactly the same thing He wants to do in America. Or China. Or Haiti. It's what our apostle calls University: unity within diversity. That God can take all of us, in the unique way He made each of us, and bring us together as one. If we really understood the beauty in our diversity then we would see what a true miracle that is.

sorry, sidenote...back to the topic at hand....

I think the reason I was so torn is because I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in this discussion (story of my life). There was one point in the discussion where they talked about ambiguity. I don't generally see anything wrong with ambiguity but I fear being at the end of either side of the spectrum. I don't want to just be like "there's just too much to God, so lets just park right here and be happy with what we have" but I also don't want to be shooting in the dark, striving to find some light that you know you will never obtain. I don't know. I guess I don't know what I feel about ambiguity. Guess you could say I'm ambiguous about my ambiguity. I know I know, the whole point of this panel is to encourage dialogue (and I totally agree that that is something that needs to take place). I feel that dialogue is great; but if  ambiguity is my only theme then what's the use of conversation?

So, in conclusion, I say all of this to say I DON'T KNOW. I know what I feel in my conviction that homosexuality is a sin. I still learning how to genuinely love people with the love of God in the midst of that. Is it possible? I hope so.

An Unhurried Day with Jesus

Today I went on the quarterly prayer retreat at Fuller. I had an amazing time. I just wanted to share what I wrote during that time and hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me.

I have so much to say, but I am in no hurry to speak.
For I am in awe at the works of your hands.
The bees and lizards surround me, yet I am not afraid,
cause for the first time I can say that they are beautiful.

Nothing compares to you.
For I have never known such beauty.
Surely this must be the work of a true and living God.
You have shown me true beauty this day and I am honored to know it.

Who am I that you are mindful of me?
That you can know such beauty and still choose to allow me to have dominion.
I am humbled to be called your child.
What love is this where one would create such things with me in mind.
Thank you for loving me.

The trees grow, the flowers blossom and are not afraid.
The birds roam proudly without a care in the world.
It is this undisturbed connection to you that draws me to repentance.
If they can be everything you have called them to be without doubt
than surely I can do the same.

Birds don't have identity crisis.
Flowers don't question their time to bloom.
They become what you have called, unrestricted by doubt.
Lord, I thank you for the free will you have given me,
yet I choose you.

I chose to be exactly what you have called; to blossom in my time.
Help me to be like the birds and flowers and trees you created;
unashamed to be exactly as you have made me.

Even when I have been lead astray by my own rebellion into captivity;
you, by your loving grace and mercy, carry me away to the land of promise.
I will search for you God, in the midst of my exile
and I will find you; with all my heart.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place which I cause you to be carried away captive. (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Eternal Rantings of a Sleepless Mind Part I

I would like to start this blog by saying, "Tommy, this is all your fault."

OK, now that's out of the way...

I can't sleep.

Again...

I don't know if you do this or not but sometimes when I can't sleep I read the "begot passages" of the bible. You know the ones....Abraham begot Issac, Issac begot Jacob, and so on. It usually goes like this...

Abraham begot Issac, Issac begot Jacob, Jacob begot zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

And I'm out like a light.

Well, that no longer works. It's the third week of school and these classes messed up my sleeping devices (although the TV still works like a charm). Instead of drifting off to sleep around the forth or fifth generation, I'm now wide awake going, "what does this contribute to the story?" "What is the significance of this and how does it set up the story of Jesus? What does it reveal about Him and why?"

I mean, really?

I must confess: my name is Tamisha Tyler, I'm a seminary student and I don't read the bible. OK, that sounds bad...It's not that I don't read the bible; but I don't READ THE BIBLE. Usually I would read the bible out of obligation: I'd read on Sunday at church, try to read something about the bible during the week so I don't feel bad, and I hope that all of those lessons I learned throughout my life would suffice. Sometimes, I would see my bible on the shelf and catch a little glimpse of dust on it and feel bad. So I would grab it and read a "pity verse." Now don't get me wrong, I love reading. I am usually the one with a book in her hand whenever you see her; always have been. But I never felt connected to the bible like I've been connected to say my favorite novel.

Then, for some odd reason, God put me in New Testament: Gospels with Tommy Givens.

After my first week of class; my brain hurt.

Tommy (in the nicest way possible mind you) completely ripped me a new one! I couldn't believe it! Everything I thought I knew was thrown out the window. Now I know how those guests on  that Style Makeover show feel when the host takes all of their horrible attire and throws it out. "But I love that!" "No, not my favorite sweater!" That was me, feeling separation anxiety from my own comfortable theology. But alas, not all is lost! New wine deserves new wine skins! And I needed a makeover; fast.

I could go into detail, but I will spare myself the painful memories and just get to the bottom line:

There is soooooo much more in reading the bible then I could have ever imagined!

He mentioned something during that first week of class that really stuck with me.

Most of us read the story of Jesus, yet we already have a picture of what Jesus looks like when we read. We read the story with the story already figured out. 

That's when things started clicking. How often during my times of reading the Word did I already assume that I knew what was being said? My attitude was one of, "there's nothing new really, I've been hearing it for so long, I think I get it now." But if there's one thing I've discovered is that practice doesn't make perfect; it makes permanent!

Now before you start throwing stones, lets back up a minute. I'm not saying that the things I've learned were wrong and unhelpful, quite the contrary. I just believe that there is more to it than what I thought there was. It's kind of hard to explain, so picture it like this:

Say our concept of Jesus was a jigsaw puzzle (just roll with me here). Most of us come to the Word of God with the puzzle already complete, and we try to use the word to fill in the gaping holes and cracks that exist in-between the pieces we've put together. Again, that was me. Everything I thought about God, Jesus, His Word, my part in it and how it all connected were pieces that I'd already figured out. I mean after all, I DID get accepted into Seminary. I figured that had to count for something. So to me, reading the bible was like reading a book for the 100th time.

Oh how wrong I was.


God did not want me to come to him with it all figured out. He wasn't looking to fill in the gaps of what I thought I had together.

He wanted my broken pieces.

Everything that I learned, everything that I am, everything that I went through; I couldn't separate myself from them. But God was willing to take all of those broken pieces and through the revelation of his word, put them together to create a true picture of Jesus. Yes, that does include some pieces being moved and some even being discarded, but the picture it created is more than I could ever begin to imagine. Not only that, but he placed me within a people, a history and a community with just as many pieces.

So now think about that Jigsaw puzzle, with millions of pieces. Sounds pretty impossible right? But you know the feeling you get when you start putting pieces together and you start to see an image, that excitement you get in the midst of the discovery. That's the feeling I now get when I read His Word. That I get to participate in a jigsaw puzzle that people have been working on throughout history. And each time I read, I get a new glimpse of what Jesus looks like.

I sent this in an email and I can only hope I somewhat grasped this concept. 

The Word of God should be read as being within our culture, being shaped within the traditions and customs of those that were before us (namely the people of Israel), and is also transcendent of our culture, shaping the very perspectives and traditions that have shaped the way we view the Word. That instead of allowing our preconceived notions to judge the word, we should look through the eyes of the very traditions that were shaped by the word and allow our notions to be judged by the word; either fortifying or adapting our current views into the traditions that the generations to follow will view the word through. This speaks to the very nature of the Living Word.

So, that's why I can't sleep.

 Thanks a lot Tommy.

Tamisha A. Tyler

P.S. Feel free to post comments or questions; conversation is always encouraged here.

What is Honest Conversation?

About a week and a half ago, I begin studies at Fuller Theological Seminary in hopes to obtain my degree and take one step closer towards becoming a professor. During my first week, I attended the weekly chapel and was blessed by the President of the School, Richard J. Mouw. His sermon, which talked about prayer, included five principles (or attributes rather) that we should ascribe to our prayer life. One of those points was Honest Conversation.

Essentially, President Mouw encouraged us to not hide anything from God in prayer, for He knows what we pray even before we form the words, but instead we should engage in honest conversation and allow our vulnerability and openness to the dealings of God be our foundation for growth.  I really began to take that to heart. At that moment, I was greatly conflicted with my decision to attend Fuller, mostly deriving from a lack of confidence; formed by being placed in the midst of ideals unbeknownst to me. I constantly questioned myself; and dealt with feelings of being vastly under-qualified; even after already being accepted (but that usually NEVER HAPPENS, what do I look like; human?). I questioned my place in an overwhelming community of theological mindsets; creative talents and philosophical ideals. The only thing that I was sure of was that I was there, sitting in that chair, listening to a man whose been down a road that I was beginning to engage tell me that the only thing I needed to be was honest with God.

Now I must admit; I'm a pretty honest person as far as I am aware. When it comes to conversations with God, I have no problem expressing how I feel. But I have learned that being honest with God is a lot more than just "telling it like it is." I realized this past week that sharing my true feelings with God and not holding back means nothing if I am unwilling to listen. That's the point of Honest CONVERSATION. It's easy for us to express how we really feel or say what we really mean, but how easy is it for us to listen to how what we say SOUNDS TO GOD? It's one thing to say; "God, I really feel out of place here, unprepared to take on what's in front of me" and another thing to realize that you actually said, "God, you didnt make the right decision by placing me here, this is not your will for me."

Now, I am not saying that we should fear speaking out in honesty towards God because we feel he's going to hear our lack of faith; but how many of us are ready to admit that most of the time that is the case. At least it was for me. Now, God did not condemn my honesty about how I felt; in fact he encourages it. He understands the inner dealings of my heart more than I do or ever will. Not only does he know, but he KNEW. He already knew that I would have these issues and already prepared the way for my deliverance from myself. He knew that there was something more important than feeling better about being honest; that being honest with him opened the door for him to reveal his true self to me. That regardless of the state I found myself; if I presented myself naked before him that he would reveal his truth to me.

So, what is this blog about exactly?

Honest Conversation.

This is a place for me to, in a way, write myself out of something...anything...everything, while I am at Fuller. I don't expect anyone to read it, but I highly recommend it. I hope you are not too offended by my honesty, but on the contrary, engage in the conversations. It is my quest to be as honest as possible, with God and with you (the reader), in hopes that I might get a glimpse at another side of the True and Living God and in doing so, catch a truthful glimpse of myself.

In as much truth as I can muster,
Tamisha A Tyler