Divided by Homosexuality

I just came back from a panel discussion entitled, "Divided by Homosexuality" where we engaged in dialogue about homosexuality in the context of ministry. I really didn't think to write a blog about this but as we were talking on the way home my friend said, "I can't wait to read your blog. I know you're gonna write a blog about this." And here we are...

Sigh...where to begin....

I think I left the conversation feeling very torn. For several reasons. First let me say that I thought it was a great discussion; it was well organized, started on time, no one got hurt so I'd say it was a pretty good night. But I feel a bit underrepresented in the discussion. This is where I have a hard time trying to figure out what I want to say (no one ever said honest conversation was easy that's for sure). So I guess I will just start out with being honest:

I feel that homosexuality is a sin.
I also feel that as a Christian, I am called to love people with the love of God, regardless of where they may be in life, and I am still trying to figure out how to do that. How do I, as a leader in my church, figure out how to really walk with people and love people yet still be real to my convictions?  I say I felt underrepresented because I don't know if that question was addressed really. I don't know, maybe I missed it, but I felt that the perspective was overwhelmingly inclusive.

There was a few points in the discussion that really stood out to me:

There was an Indian woman (from India) who made an interesting and relevant comment that wasn't addressed at all. This is what she said (from what I can remember):

I'm a former Hindu who is now a Christian and in the Indian Christian community, American Christianity is the standard. No one buys a book from an Indian author but if a book is written in American (like Purpose Driven Life) they are reading it the next morning. I fear that the people in India will see what's going on over here with the rise of homosexual bishops and this "acceptance" of homosexuality in leadership and do the same thing.

This raised several questions for me. I have a sense of how influential American culture is to the rest of the world but had no clue how much it transcended in our religious culture. Is this just the case in India? Or do other church communities in other countries model their church after us?  If this is the case then I am also afraid. But beyond that I am sad. I am sad because people of India feel that the "American God" is superior to the "Indian God." I think that mindset strips the people of being able to experience God in their culture. Yes, God has a purpose for His entire church body; but what God wants to do in India isn't exactly the same thing He wants to do in America. Or China. Or Haiti. It's what our apostle calls University: unity within diversity. That God can take all of us, in the unique way He made each of us, and bring us together as one. If we really understood the beauty in our diversity then we would see what a true miracle that is.

sorry, sidenote...back to the topic at hand....

I think the reason I was so torn is because I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in this discussion (story of my life). There was one point in the discussion where they talked about ambiguity. I don't generally see anything wrong with ambiguity but I fear being at the end of either side of the spectrum. I don't want to just be like "there's just too much to God, so lets just park right here and be happy with what we have" but I also don't want to be shooting in the dark, striving to find some light that you know you will never obtain. I don't know. I guess I don't know what I feel about ambiguity. Guess you could say I'm ambiguous about my ambiguity. I know I know, the whole point of this panel is to encourage dialogue (and I totally agree that that is something that needs to take place). I feel that dialogue is great; but if  ambiguity is my only theme then what's the use of conversation?

So, in conclusion, I say all of this to say I DON'T KNOW. I know what I feel in my conviction that homosexuality is a sin. I still learning how to genuinely love people with the love of God in the midst of that. Is it possible? I hope so.