Saturday, October 19, 2013

The truth about me...and maybe you too.

Hi. My name is Tamisha Tyler.
 I am size 16 to 18. 
My butt is slightly smaller than I'd like and my stomach is bigger than I would imagine it to be. 
My arms flap when I wave and I secretly wish I was a couple inches taller so maybe then my dreams of being a model would be more based in reality.
 My teeth are crooked and it took me a long time to learn to smile and laugh freely. 
My middle name is Anquonette. 
I've always secretly hated my middle name; it takes too long to spell, so I tell myself that Tamisha A. Tyler would be a better writers name. 
I've always wanted to be a writer, but I always fear that I will never have anything to say. 
My friends say that I am a good leader but I often questioned whether or not they believe it.
Maybe because I'm still learning to.
 I'm single, and I don't want to be. 
But I can't figure out how to get a date. 
There are moments that I doubt everything that I believe, but I am afriad to tell anyone in fear that my spoken words will become a confirmation of a truth that I cannot face. 
I like to drink beer and eat cupcakes....at the same time
I wonder if I'm smart enough to actually get into the PhD program and I'm more afraid of the answer being yes. 
I'm afraid to say that I actually like my life is right now in fear that my words will speed up an impending doom confirming the fact that I don't deserve it. 
I don't remember how to ride a bike
I wish I had really cool smart things to say in a blog or paper but I can't seem to get past my own stupid thoughts, so I just write blogs; a stream of consciousness that makes no sense and hope and pray that somebody will read it. 
This would be one of those.

3 comments:

  1. Tamisha,
    I love your honesty in this blog, and know that you are amazing/wonderful!!!!!
    -Mel

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  2. Thanks for sharing…Whenever I'm honest with myself, especially when writing my feelings or speaking my feelings about myself into the universe, I feel frightened to the core and amazingly free at the same time. I pray for courage to live my honesty, and I pray the same for you. - Stacey, Fuller Alum Mdiv 06

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